#SheSays: I’m 43 & My Mother-in-law Forcibly Takes Decisions For Me. Including Which Panty To Wear.
- IWB Post
- March 11, 2017
Imagine a life where you don’t have the freedom to decide what to wear.
JWB’s section, “Censored,” features real women narrating real stories. Stories, which are usually censored by the society, are given a platform.
There is absolutely no room for judgment or condemnation. Women can open up about their personal issues, reach epiphanies, inspire women all around the world, and seek an expert advice. Read on, and get your dosage of empowerment.
I am not a 10-year-old who can’t take her decisions; I am 43. Who am I kidding, I think even a 10-year-old lives a more independent life than what I am living now.
I am married in a typical Punjabi family where the display of affection for each other is loud. My husband and kids love me as much as I love them. However, it looks like my mother-in-law has taken a little longer to adjust to me.
Seventeen years ago, I got married to Virender. We have two kids, both of them are studying in Delhi. My husband and I are based in Indore. Soon after my marriage, my MIL’s behavior changed towards me. She suspiciously began looking after what I was eating, drinking, wearing and going. It wasn’t out of affection, for sure.
Things became clear to me when I was all set for my first mini-vacation after the honeymoon. I was going to live with my brother’s family for a week in Jaipur. She called my elder brother to inform that I was coming over for seven days, not longer. Was that a kind of confirmation, as if I was lying to her?! Confused, I left the doubt behind and went on to enjoy my days with my brother’s family.
Upon returning, I encountered the other side of my MIL. Immediately after I stepped in the house, she handed me over a calendar specifying when I was ‘allowed’ to go to Jaipur. Not only this, she asked my husband to accompany me every time I decided to go. Now I was supposed to plan my holidays according to his convenience.
Shocked, I couldn’t say a word and went to my room. It was my mistake that I didn’t say anything. Had I opposed her cruel rules back then, I wouldn’t have been writing this to you.
Will you believe me if I tell you that my MIL shops undergarments for me? From my sarees to bras and footwear, everything is chosen by my MIL. Unbelievable? Sure it is. Bizarre? Definitely.
My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t want to talk about it. Whatever money he gives me for my expenses is taken by his mother. Whenever I tell him, he says it’s okay. I DON’T THINK IT’S OKAY ANYMORE.
I have been silent for all these years. Now that my kids have moved to a different city, and I get to spend most of the time with my MIL, it’s suffocating me to death. I have taken very long to do it. Nevertheless, I think I can still rectify my mistakes and give myself a better life. A life I deserve to live.
My MIL has never raised a hand to me, but her behavior is no less than any physical pain. I need some help, may be psychological, without delaying any further. Can you help?
[Note: The picture used is only for representation. Source: Getty Images.]
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Consult a lawyer,i think there is a law for such kind of unjustice. It comes under mental harrasment. I cant assure you,but i definitely read a similar case in a magazine. Women today need to stand up for themselves. Do consult a lawyer.