Censored

#HeSays: My Family Disowned Me As I Didn’t Ask My In-laws For Dowry

By Jayati Godhawat

July 04, 2016

 

JWB’s section, “Censored“, features real women narrating real stories. Stories, which are usually censored by the society are given a platform. There is absolutely no room for judgment or condemnation. Women can open up about their personal issues, reach epiphanies, inspire women all around the world, and seek an expert advice. Read on, and get your dosage of empowerment.

For the first time a man, the 25-year-old Viraj (name changed) approached us to share his story. Viraj and his pregnant wife were thrown out of the house by his own parents. Now, Viraj is living with his wife in Jaipur, and they are expecting their first child. His journey from his house in Sikar to Jaipur is distressing and highlights a very brutal reality of our society.

#HeSays:

It was 2014 when I returned home after I was through with my B-tech. I started working at a car dealership showroom as an engineer, in Byawar. Around this time, my parents found a match for me and our marriage was due in November. My father was a strict retired army officer, and so, I never met my would-be-wife, Jaya (name changed), before our wedding day. I had to leave my job in Byawar as they were not approving my leaves. On November 3, 2014, I got married, and my life changed overnight. No, not like how it changes for other couples.

After the wedding, in December, I luckily got a job in Shree Cement, Jaipur office. So, my wife and I decided that she would stay back with my parents till I got settled. However, my parents started taunting Jaya that her parents didn’t give any money or car for the wedding. They also said to me:

“You tell that good-for-nothing wife of yours to ask his father to give us a car and some cash, at least.”

“We didn’t marry our Engineer son to their daughter for charity. Tell her you’d leave her if they didn’t fulfill our demands.”

Etc.

I was horrified as I was totally against dowry. My wife was a responsible girl who took care of my parents and me. What more could I ask for? When I was leaving to Jaipur, my parents didn’t let me take my clothes and Rajai (blanket) because I wasn’t supporting their demand. I assured my wife that everything would be alright. I assured myself that things would get normal. I went to Sikar every weekend and one time, in January, I found out that they were torturing my wife who was two months pregnant by then. As I was opposing them and supporting my wife, my parents told me to leave their house with Jaya. I was dismayed. We left their home with 10 rupees in my pocket. I went to my relatives in the city for help and shelter, but, my parents had called and had told them:

 “Viraj and Jaya stole our money and ran away.”

Jaya got severely ill, and I had to take her to my in-laws. Unfortunately, she had a miscarriage. I, too, lost my job. We were broke, not just financially, but emotionally. But, I didn’t give up. I left Jaya at her parents’ house with a promise to bring her with me, asap. I took up a job in Sumerpur for Rs. 8000. However, I was struggling to meet ends, and so, I came back to Jaipur and got a job for 15K. I rented a small place here. By god’s grace, Jaya and I are staying together and expecting our first child.

Dowry is the brutal reality with which our country is still struggling and most often than not, our girls are still losing their lives because of this.

In Viraj’s case, he supported his wife, Jaya, and didn’t fall into the trap of the parents’ greed. His story is a reminder to all the husbands that know the difference between right and wrong and support the right even if it means standing against the parents.